


All I Need

by mocking_words



Series: 12 Days of Romanogers (Christmas 2016) [5]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:39:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8897554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mocking_words/pseuds/mocking_words
Summary: Steve has plenty of self-doubt, but Natasha has always been there to get him through it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spazzgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spazzgirl/gifts).



> This one is a bit angsty in the front but a happy ending of course!

For as long as he could remember, his self-doubt had plagued him; deep within the crevices of his mind, unable to keep silent. Perhaps it had been something born out of his being poorly as a child, or even his inability to hold his own gaze in the mirror. He had a tough soul, or so his mother had constantly reassured him. He believed it of course, because he knew that somewhere buried within his weak self was someone worth the fight. It had been difficult because he knew that his self-confidence waxed and waned every single moment of the day. He never failed to ponder upon the question at least five times a day, revelling in the moment as the answers failed to wash over him.

The human mind was complex and Steve knew that. He knew, more so than anyone else, that a few words could etch themselves painfully into every fibre of a being but that didn’t stop the demons from working their way through his already weak defence system.

Steve Rogers as Captain America? It might as well have been the joke of the century.

It hadn’t been, evidently, as he led the Avengers along with Natasha by his side. He’d become a symbol of freedom, a national hero, but deep down, he felt no different than the Steve Rogers who’d been beaten up by those bullies in a Brooklyn alleyway.

“What are you thinking about?” Natasha hummed quietly, tracing her fingers down his chest as they lay in bed.

“Nothing important,” Steve murmured. It really wasn’t important; he had learnt to keep his feelings to himself. He was not as skilled as Natasha in doing so, but he was good enough. She didn’t reply, instead choosing to snuggle closer to him, tucking herself under his arm. He kissed her forehead, holding her tight. She knew that something was up, he could sense it, but left it open to her interpretation of the situation. Somehow, she always knew the right thing to say, at the most appropriate of times.

He hadn’t even begun to realise how much he depended on her until the first time she had left on a mission, right after they had gotten together. He functioned fine but it felt empty without her presence in the house. There wasn’t anyone tossing jokes at him or teasing him relentlessly on how he had to have a coaster under every cup. She was everything to him, in fact, what he felt was borderline addiction.

Natasha tilted her head upwards to kiss him, lingering for a moment longer. He had a hand on her waist, holding her body close to his. He could tell she was studying his expression, trying to figure out what was going on with him.

“You’re thinking too hard again,” Natasha breathed quietly, running a hand through his hair. He smiled, “You’re right.”

“You always have this look when you’re thinking too hard,” she replied, leaving a kiss on his jaw.

“Do I?” he asked, “I never noticed.”

“You do,” she said in response, “I know what you’re like.”

“You probably know me more than I know myself Nat,” he admitted, stroking her hair lovingly.

“Yes and whatever you’re thinking of, you’re better than you think, Rogers,” she smiled. It was a smile she reserved for him, a look that always took his breath away, regardless of circumstances, “You might not believe it, but you are, Steve.”

The only one who believed first that he was more than the mantel he carried, the one who believed that Steve Rogers had a story worth as much as Captain America’s was Natasha. She knew him like the back of her hand, always so in sync with one another. He kissed her affectionately, letting his emotions pour and reveal themselves through a single action. She was his and damn right was he proud to be called her husband.

* * *

It was a few days later when he was called off to the Avengers headquarters. Natasha had been particularly busy those past days, leaving him to busy himself with work. It had been a welcomed distraction; he was ready to throw himself back into running the Avengers. It was a horribly tough job but one that he had taken on nonetheless. After spending a day discussing their next mission to the home of El Diablo himself, he was ready to crawl back into bed with Natasha. Pulling into the driveway, he could see the lights in the house were on, which meant that Natasha was home.

“Nat?” he called out, shutting the door behind him. There was no response and he went to check in the bedroom. Sure enough, there she was, curled up on their bed, asleep. She was usually a light sleeper, due to the nature of their jobs, but he knew she felt safe enough to sleep at home.

He was about to get into bed with her but he noticed a new book he hadn’t seen before on top of the dresser.

It was a photo album.

Inside were pictures of all the time he and the Avengers spent time together; from Tony’s Christmas galas, New Year’s, Thanksgiving and every other occasion he could’ve possibly thought of. Each alternate page was filled with the handwritten words of his teammates, all reminiscing the best times they had spent together.

But it was the last few pages that caught his eye. Natasha had built a collage of their entire lives from the very first time they met to where they were now with James. He recognised her neat handwriting at the very bottom of the page.

 _No matter how you feel, Steve, I want you to know I love you and I hope this helps you catch even a small glimpse of the world you've given me._  
_-Nat_

He could feel the tears brimming in his eyes, knowing Natasha had compiled it for him. He set the book down and made his way back to her, pulling her into his arms. She stirred, giving him a sleepy smile, “You’re late, Rogers.”

“Sorry,” he said, leaving a kiss on her forehead, “I saw your present.”

“Hey, that’s cheating. I was meant to hide it,” she pouted, “It was for our advent calendar hunt.”

“I love you,” he replied, “You’re a fucking gem.”

“Language, Cap,” she chided, a smirk on her face, “You’re going to get in trouble if you cuss.”

He kissed her, tracing his fingers up and down her spine, “Thank you, Nat.”

“You’re welcome, she smiled.

“You’re so important to me,” he murmured, “I’m going to do everything to make you the happiest woman on Earth.”

“I think you did that when you married me,” she teased, “I wasn’t exactly the most eligible bachelorette in New York, but looks like I hit it big time with Steve Rogers.”

“No, I did, when I made it with you,” he grinned.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and kudos if you liked it x  
> P/S: I'm on tumblr as @aesthetically-broken if anyone wants to know!


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